The Power of Retreat
and remembering to trust myself again
Last month, I took a solo trip to San Francisco using some of the spare points and miles I had racked up over the years.
I had an endless lineup of excuses not to go: it’s not the right time, not the right place, not the right money, etc.
But my partner Zac encouraged me to take the leap and go for a few days. Like most of the friends and family who circled around me with support upon the news of me leaving/losing my job, he was team R&R.
You’ve done well. You can take the time. So take some time.
So I took the time.
Walking cities like San Francisco and New York have always been a refuge for me in times of transition.
With a penchant for people watching and public transportation, I bathe in the city like others bathe in the forest. The spontaneity of urban centers continues to fulfill my innate curiosity, even as I return to places that feel more familiar.
In SF, I felt safe enough to get lost on my own, resist the urge to meet up with old friends nearby (I’ll catch them next time), and just get comfortable with the awkwardness of my own thoughts and feelings.
A Walking Meditation
One morning while ambling from a coffee shop in Central Richmond, through the cypress trees of Golden Gate Park, to the sands of Ocean Beach, I cultivated the art of noticing both outward and inward.
By the time I had circled my way back to The Castro for lunch and Dolores Park for an afternoon sit-and-ponder, I realized something.
Left to my own devices, I had become intimately reacquainted with my intuition.
Every decision, from which bus route to take to where to go for dinner (I repeated the same spot 3x in a row), was mine and mine alone. An opportunity to trust myself again and again. With or without a definitive plan.
It was a much needed reminder.
I can trust myself to get where I need to go, that the journey will be fulfilling, and that I can always pivot as needed.
If I can trust myself to choose my own adventure for a few days, I can do the same for my life, right?
I came back to LA with some essential decisions made.
Prompt: Think about the last time you took a big risk. Where did you get the courage? How did you cultivate intuition and self-trust in your own life?
Prompt: Plan your ideal retreat. Where would you go and how would you get there? For how long? And what would you want to return with?
Related Material
This Zanele Muholi exhibition I saw at SF MOMA closes in two weeks.
Abacá was my dinner spot 3x in a row.
The folks at Black Bird Bookstore and Café were really sweet to me.
With love,
JP
Thank you for checking out this year’s edition of The Ultimate Anti-Resolution Guide. You can still download this year’s PDF below.